Lessons I have learnt so far...

1. DON'T ever believe anything a student says.. they are trying to test how gullible u can be. Always ask the class chairman whether it is true... he cannot lie cos he will get into trouble.

2. If they are too noisy... u can slam the class door really hard and switch off all the lights... then they will listen to you. Too bad this method can only be used once in each class.

3. For primary school kids... if they misbehave... u can tell them to write an essay on 'why I should not misbehave'. They will stop making noise and sit down quietly to write.

4. If some boy decides to take off his pants in front of you to test your reaction as one of my fellow relief teacher experienced... just stick out your smallest finger and 'Wah, so small... one inch only is it?'

5. Threatening the really naughty ones is of no use... people have been shouting at them so much... what u need to do is try to be their friend and try to reason with them and launch into a long story to the crap they throw at you... only then will they be speechless and then shut up.

6. Never let them sit together.... once they crowd together.... thats when all the trouble starts. Sigh... but this is hard to do. U tell someone at one end of the classroom to go back to their seats... the other ends starts to wander around the class.

Help... I need help... I am tired.... anyone got any suggestions on how to deal with them? Anyone got any answers to how I should reply to the remark of 'Teacher.... you are shorter than me?'